"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."
--Milton Berle
***
"If you enjoy your alcohol, remember this: If you put your
old, rotten liver under your pillow, the Beer Fairy will
leave you a keg." --Paul Tomkins
***
"There's a new study out that says too much caffeine can
cause hallucinations. I think it's true because I was at
Starbucks today, and I hallucinated that a cup of coffee
cost $4." -Craig Ferguson
