+-------------- Bizarre English Translations --------------+

In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels
please. If you are not person to do such thing is please
not to read notis.

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at
the front desk.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with
pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Ortho-
dox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where
famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers
are buried daily except Thursday.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you
nothing to hope for.

In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we
recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your
first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well talking. - Here speeching American.

***