February 11 is White Tee-Shirt Day and Don't Cry Over
Spilled Milk Day
February 12 is National Plum Pudding Day
February 13 is Get A Different Name Day and Dream Your
Sweet Day
February 14 is Ferris Wheel Day and National Heart to
Heart Day
February 15 is National Gum Drop Day
February 16 is Do A Grouch A Favor Day
February 17 is Champion Crab Races Day
February 18 is National Battery Day
Hope is always available to us. When we feel defeated,
we need only take a deep breath and say, "Yes," and hope
will reappear.
--Monroe Forester
Sharks have upper and lower eyelids but they do not blink.
***
Some sharks swim in a figure eight when frightened.
***
Sharks have survived on earth for about 400 million years.
A shark bites with its lower jaw first and then its upper.
***
The hides of mature female blue sharks are more than twice
as thick as those of males.
***
A shark may grow and use over 20,000 teeth in its lifetime.
"Life consists not in holding good cards but in
playing those you hold well."
Henry Wheeler Shaw, who wrote under the pen name
Josh Billings (1818-1885), famous humor writer and lecturer in the
United States in the second half of the 19th century.
"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."
--Milton Berle
***
"If you enjoy your alcohol, remember this: If you put your
old, rotten liver under your pillow, the Beer Fairy will
leave you a keg." --Paul Tomkins
***
"There's a new study out that says too much caffeine can
cause hallucinations. I think it's true because I was at
Starbucks today, and I hallucinated that a cup of coffee
cost $4." -Craig Ferguson
In Detroit, Oregon, a hunter thought he had found a severed
human head in an abandoned mining shed and called the
police. Deputy Larry Taylor realized it was just the head
of a mannequin when he noticed a price sticker on the
forehead.
A California officer charged the driver of a white Mazda
with DUI after driving down Pacific Coast Highway with the
upper half of a traffic light pole laying across its hood.
When Fonteno asked the drunk driver about the pole, he
responded: "It came with the car when I bought it."
The driver of an armored truck in Edmonton, Alberta
appeared to be signaling for help as he repeatedly swung
his door open. After six police cruisers chased and stopped
the truck, it turned out, the driver had simply tried to
fan fresh air into the cabin after the other guard had
passed gas.
In Boynton, Florida, Michael Harrison and Kevin Carter
were arrested and charged with armed robbery and murder
in their attempt to raise money to attend the police
academy.
Stockholm, Sweden - Customs officers in Stockholm, Sweden
arrested a woman who had tried to smuggle 75 live snakes
in her bra. The officers became suspicious when they
noticed how the woman kept scratching her chest.
***
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.
~Chinese proverb
MR. BAD IDEAS
Mr. Bad Ideas searches the world and his mind for the worst
in bad ideas. It might be a good idea to kill some time by
checking out his site!
Visit: MR. BAD IDEAS
"Scientists say now that they are very close to developing
chocolate that won't melt. It's a chocolate you can eat in
hot climates. Apparently we're holding off on that cure for
cancer. Let's get this chocolate breakthrough first."
--Jay Leno
***
"Russia is going to start taking care of nuclear waste from
other countries. Their goal is to be the New Jersey of
Europe." --Conan O'Brien
***
"Do you know what you call people in Hollywood who've been
married for 3 years? Divorced." --David Letterman
Beach
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